Letting it Hang Out

Okay, so me - I've been goofing off.

And I've been working my butt off.

It's a delicate balance.

So, with my goofing off self, I've been reading manga. I've also been discovering Korean manga as well. It's pretty cool.

The pic today is from Koukou Debut, which is one of the best manga I've ever read. It's right up there with Kenshin, Gokusen, and Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne. I realize that none of those mangas are anything like each other. It's about a girl who was really sporty in middle school, so when she starts high school she decides that she's not going to do sports, but get herself a boyfriend instead ... but she sucks. So, she gets hot boy Yoh to tutor her in the ways of attracting men. It's so cute.

The Korean manga I've been reading lately is called Red Lion and it's really good too. I get too used to the good stuff so that I can't read garbage anymore.

Anyway, if you like manga - go read everything I recommend. There's no way you'll be disappointed.

With my hardcore working self, I've been letting my story rest lightly on my mind, but I mostly have too much stuff to do to even think about it. I usually only get a few minutes in the car and I use those to think about my story. I don't think it would even occur to me, except that when I'm listening to my CDs a song will come up that I've written a songfic for in the past and then I'll remember my writing. Today it was Schiller "Dream of You". I use that song for a chapter in 'Shadow Magic: Zelgadis and Lina'. That was one of the best chapters I ever wrote.

Sometimes, I wonder why my Slayers stuff didn't catch on the way my Escaflowne stuff did. I think about it quite frequently. I wonder if it was my marketing, or the fact that it is AU, or the audience, or what? It reminds me that my writing isn't really special, because if my writing was always special than my Slayers stuff would have done better.

CONFUSION

Well, once I get my can moved, then I plan to start an experiment. I'll probably learn a lot from it. Then when I get scraped across the coals then we can find out which side of myself is stronger - my goofing off self or my hardcore self. If my hardcore self wins than I'll continue releasing work on a regular basis until I die (I make no promises about every week or where I'll be uploading, but I'll continue writing) and if my goofing off self wins, then I'll give up completely.

But, I am 75% responsible, so I think the answer is clear now. I'm not really out to test myself, I guess. I think I'm out to test if I'll fit in with a real writing community as I am now. If I don't fit in the way I am now ... I don't think I'll ever fit in. I'm not good at making changes to myself solely for the enjoyment of others. I have to want it myself.

Well, in the end, I dislike half-ways. It's all or nothing, baby!

And they said I shouldn't go to extremes - ha!

Great! I'm alone with my brain!

Okay, so I've been trying to do some things to clear my mind and fill me with some much needed inspiration. So, since I'm still in the depression phase, I can still rent movies. So, I went to the video store and rented 'Memoirs of a Geisha' and 'House of Flying Daggers'. Yeah, I know.

'Memoirs of a Geisha' was much cleaner than I expected it to be, so that was a nice surprise for me. Other than that, it seemed like it was close to three hours long, and for what? The most interesting character was Hatsumomo, and so once she was gone and it was clear that she wasn't coming back, I was really tempted to turn it off, because there was no other character who was interesting enough to watch for. It was just ... empty for me. A story perhaps a lot more like real life than fiction because Chiyo achieved her goal, but it seemed like an hollow victory to me, like so many other things in real life. So, this wasn't inspiring.

Also, I have discovered over the years that I miss a lot of dialogue when I watch something in English. I find it pretty frustrating because when I watch something in Japanese with English subtitles, then I read every single line and never miss a word. When I was watching this, I was hardly catching any of the dialogue, so I started watching it with the subtitles on. How pathetic!

'House of Flying Daggers' was not what I expected at all, but it was definitely the superior of the two films. However, I won't be watching it a second time. The best part was the squirrel he tied to his sword. I'll always remember how cute I thought that was.

After that I ended up playing 'Soul Caliber' on the PS2 without any regard for my poor typing injured thumbs. I worked off a great deal of steam. When I knew I'd gotten about as much satisfaction as was possible, I quit and tried to decide if life was made of chocolate, oatmeal, or mud. Well, whichever one it is - it definitely has a bug in it.

Yeah, my inspiration is not returning to me as quickly as I'd like and today is the last day before I have to move my can again. I hate moving my can ... it's so heavy.

Marshmallows are Aphrodisiacs?

Okay, so this is a post about dating and marshmallows. I was online looking up easy date ideas and I was shocked and TOTALLY ASTOUNDED at how many of these ideas involved marshmallows. I don't even really like marshmallows, so I was a little shocked that so many people had them on the brain. So, here's a short list of the BEST date ideas I've had and other people have had to do with dating a marshmallow ... I mean taking your date out on your marshmallow allowance ... I mean, not spending all your money on marshmallows ... never mind. I think you guys get the idea. I was originally going to write a book called '101 ways to use marshmallows in ACTUAL dating situations', but that seemed a little grandiose, so instead I'm just going to write a blog about it.

1. Make S'Mores

Chocolate + melted marshmallows + graham crackers = PURE GENIUS! This was the most popular idea by far. I've never done it though. However, just as a tip, use an Arrow chocolate bar for the chocolate - the bubbles will make it better^_^!

2. Campfire Marshmallows

The thing that's nice about this is that you have to GO somewhere to do this one. You have to go to a park and find a grate or something to start a fire in. So the real treat is the going out part. Then you can snuggle under blankets.

3. Poker

I used to do this at slumber parties all the time. You use marshmallows for your poker chips. It's pretty fun.

4. Making Rice Crispy Squares

You can use marshmallows to make like 100 different square recipes, and even though guys don't admit it - they like it when chicks make things like this. They think they taste good and lots of people have really good memories associated with rice crispy squares. And And And ... the recipe is so simple that even if you don't cook - you can't possibly screw this up. They're easier to make than jello.

5. Candlelight Marshmallows

Got a big candle with more than one wick in it? Then you've got almost everything you need. Two people can roast marshmellows over a three wick candle - easily. I know because I do this. Fire is romantic, and you don't have to go out into the wilderness to do this. Really good for winter.

6. The Date Invitation

You can always put together a little gift bag full of marshmellows with a cutsy little label inviting someone out on a date. Even though it's not necessarily my personality - I'm always making cutsy things inviting people out to events. So, I've always got this purpose on the brain, whenever I'm doing anything. Plus, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I know that's an old saying (my dentures are falling out as I'm speaking), but I guarentee that if you took something for your crush to eat every time you went to go see him ... eventually, he'd probably fall in love with you, even if you didn't flirt with him or give him any indication that you liked him other than that you brought him food. Before you knew it, you'd have a confessing boy on your hands.

7. Drinking Games

I don't drink, nor do I think anyone should drink, but I think you could probably play any number of drinking games making someone eat a marshmallow instead of taking a drink. I'm usually sick by the third large marshmallow, so I'd think this was hilarious, but that's just me.

8. Hot Chocolate

Even though this is obvious ... I have to list it because it's so obvious. I'm biting on my tongue as I write this. It's so BORING! Not only that, but cocoa is so much better with whipped cream rather than marshmallows.

Okay, that's it. See? I never could have got to 101. No way. I probably would have been going too far if I'd tried to stretch the list to 10.

Licking Blood

Today I thought I'd talk about me and my love for vampires.

The picture is from the recent anime Tsukuyomi Moon Phase. It was very cute. There's been a lot of vampire anime lately. Just really quickly, I'm going to go through all the recent vampire anime I've seen and give them stars based on how much I liked them.

Tsukuyomi Moon Phase (****): So cute. The kitty thing is adorable too. Neko mimi mode =^.^=.

Blood + (*****): This is so along my vampire tastes that I'm positive I would have been completely obsessed if I were still a teenager. This series isn't actually finished yet. It just broke the first season marker (more than 26 episodes). I don't know how long they plan to make it.

Karin (***): I don't know why the opening credits are practically pornographic. There isn't a lot of that in the series. This one is about a vampire that produces blood, so she's an unvampire. It just wrapped up this spring. It was pretty cute in lots of ways.

Trinity Blood (**): I stopped watching this one part way through, so I don't know if it got any better. I was watching Trigun at the same time as Trinity Blood and everyone knows that Trigun is classic, and Abel (the main character from Trinity Blood) seemed like a Vash (from Trigun) knockoff. And they do that thing that they did in Sorcerer Stabber Orphan where they have these incredible end credits that indicate all this romance and emotion and then nothing even resembling it is happening in the series. Too aggrivating!

Lunar Legend Tsukihime (zero): I had really strong feelings about this one. I had to stop watching it abruptly, and I would encourage everyone to avoid it like the plague. Revolting.

So, those are the lastest vampire animes I've seen. I know there are more, but I can't watch all of them, so those are the ones that went through my vigorous screening process ~_^!

Now I'm gonna talk about movies and other stuff.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: When this first came out - I sat down to watch an episode and I said to myself, "If this one episode is good, I will be a loyal watcher forever and if it blows, I'll never watch another episode as long as I live." Guess which one happened? It blew. I never watched another episode. And since then any of the times that I've chanced upon a couple minutes here and there - I haven't seen anything that has made me regret my decision (I know, I'm so hardcore, it's scary).

Interview with the Vampire: I have probably seen this movie 200 times, but I'll never watch it again ... ever. It was where my obession with vampires started, so it's strictly off limits. If I watch five minutes of it - I'll end up watching the whole thing. And then I'll end up buying another copy of the movie and the book (both of which I gave away and requested that the person I was lending them to kindly 'forget' to return them). Then I'll end up watching Queen of the Damned, which I haven't seen (read the book though), and who knows if I'll be able to pull up? So, none of this for me.

The Lost Boys: This is a really old movie - at least by my standards. It's cute though, but be sure to turn it off immediately after the climax, because if you listen to the last joke - your brain will be sure to short circuit at the stupidity involved. So, flip it off quickly and be spared ^^.

Bram Stoker's Dracula: One time I had a dream that Anthony Hopkins was playing Dracula in this movie instead of Gary Oldman and I was lying there going - that is SO much better. Anthony Hopkins is in it, but he's not Dracula. I hate this movie. I hate it so much. It's so gross!!! Seriously - it's SO gross. Nobody watch this - ever. Your brain will be so much cleaner if you avoid it.

Love at First Bite: I have to mention this because it's absolutely hilarious. If you were to watch it at 3 a.m. you'd think it was the best movie you ever saw in your life. It's a 70's film about Dracula getting kicked out of his castle and having to find a different kind of life, so he decides to go after the super model he's fallen in love with. It's so great! She opens the fridge and the cat is in there and she picks it up and she's like, "That's where you've been for the past two days! And I thought you were lost!"

I'll probably think of more stuff to comment on this afterwards, but this will do for now. The point is that the fun interesting vampire in my head is never properly portrayed. At least I don't think so. One day, I'm going to write a great vampire story. I haven't got anything planned right now, but some day, I'll give you all something great. Just wait and see ~_^!

Sitting in the Dark and Eating

There's this one Calvin and Hobbes comic where Calvin says that it's not entertainment if you don't get to sit in the dark and eat. LOL! I love Bill Waterson. So, that's where I got the idea for the title of this blog. I've decided to dedicate this post to ten movies I like. Generally, I have not been liking movies lately, so maybe I might not get to ten, but I'll try. I'm going to write these comments on the assumtion that everyone has seen these movies.

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

This is a Jim Carrey film, so you'd think that it would be stupid beyond all reason, but it's not like his other movies. It's serious. After I had been watching for about five minutes all I could think was, "Was Jim Carreye always this good looking?" It was weird. It's also interesting to note that one of the most touching scenes was his idea.

2. Big Fish

Ewan McGregor is a cheeseball. There is no doubt about it. But this movie also has Billy Crudup in it (and I love him). I don't cry in movies often, but I cried at the end of this one. Everyone's experiences lead them to find different things touching. This movie hit me in a spot that I don't really like to talk about in public. I cry like a baby everytime I watch it.

3. Highlander

I love the first Highlander movie. The sword play is crappy beyond all reason, but I still love how angst-ridden Christopher Lambert is. Why is he such a sissy in the other movies?

4. Dune

I love the old Dune from the 80's. It might be the occasional peek at Patrick Stewart, or it might be that I think both of the leading ladies in this film are so beautiful that it's sick. The woman who plays Jessica even looks great with her head and eyebrows shaved. If that's not hot, than I don't know what is.

5. Excalibur

This is a movie that was made in the early 80's. Of course it's the King Arthur story. Actually, I have a lot of issue with the King Arthur story and this is the only film I can tolerate. They cover a lot of plot so there isn't a lot of screwing around. Every line is crutial, because they don't have a lot of time.

6. The Lord of the Rings

This is breathtaking - everyone knows it. I honestly don't care for the whole Frodo plotline. I like the battle scenes. Everyone was always stuffing this story in my face when I was a kid and I hated it, because the only part I could remember from The Return of the King cartoon was the part where he gets his finger bitten off. Now for a sensitive child like me - I was NOT interested. It wasn't until I found out that Aragon was the king that I was remotely interested. Like I said - I like the battle scenes.

7. Shallow Hal

This might not fit in well with the whole scene I've got going on here, but I really like the point of this movie. When I was a teenager, I was a man-magnet and my friends always got neglected compared to me. Well, I was always angry that the guys were such losers that they wouldn't talk to a girl unless she was ... hot and flirtacious. I don't know if I'm actually good looking, but I'm noisy and flirtacious and I get attention, but this was a real problem for me and my friends. I'd go to a dance and I'd get asked to dance for every song while my friends would only get asked once or twice. I can't tell you how many scrapes I got into with my girlfriends because of stuff like this. So, it pisses me off that guys need chicks to be postergirls in order to be good enough for them. Losers! The thing that makes me really angry is that my friends ALWAYS had more to give than me. I'm self centered, pushy, egotistical, noisy, and driven. Whereas my friends (on the whole) were gentle, loving, supportive, sweet and generally just ... precious. That's why I was able to pop a little bit out of my bubble and love them. Yeah, men are morons! Which brings me back to another one of my theories - ALL MEN ARE EVIL. Some of them are just more evil than others.

8. Vertigo

If you haven't seen this film - you must. It's an Alfred Hitchcock film. I love him! I'd like to tell you about it, but that would ruin it, so go see it if you haven't. Basically, all of them are good, so go watch them all.

9. Logan's Run

I love this movie. I went through the trouble to go read the book as well. I have a fun story of when I went to go read the book. I went to the public library and looked it up on one of the computers so that I could find it on the shelf. But there wasn't a reference number for it. Instead, it said 'please see reference desk'. I had never seen a message like that before. I was so curious and I went to the desk. So, I told the lady there what happened, and she looked at me with this strange expression like I had just asked her something totally unheard of. She got up and told me to wait. Then she got up and went behind the desk and opened an elevator door that I didn't even know was there. The book was in storage, but the mysterious way that she went down to the basement was like she was going to the library's bat cave. It was really strange.

Yeah, I couldn't come up with ten. I knew it would be challenging. I watch most movies and I can believe that I'm watching the pathetic tripe. Not to say that I don't like silly stuff, or stuff that's fun. I just get bored with overused themes, popular actors playing themselves instead of a character, the hype surrounding films, the same exact stories being played out, and most of all - the way that I can't get into a story in just two hours. It takes at least four, if not five. So, that's the end of my list. Hope you enjoyed it.

Me vs. Kenshin

Okay, this is my last Kenshin post ... maybe ... probably ... not. I make no promises. So, I said before that I only had volumes 1-10, right? So, I got my hands on the last 18 volumes and I friggin' wasn't myself until I finished the whole dang thing.

One time I read that the final plot arch in Kenshin (the revenge plot arch) was glorious. Indeed, it was. Indeed.

No seriously - I enjoyed it so much. I laughed. I literally cried at one spot, but I couldn't put the thing down. It was so amazing.

For one thing, I liked Yahiko so much better in the manga. When I was watching the anime I felt like he was just a side character to stop the anime from being 100% about Kenshin. I really loved Yahiko in the manga - he was so cool. I also like Sano a lot better in the manga too. Also, Tomoe was drawn so pretty in the manga. She was soooooo pretty. I'm a Tomoe fan.

And best of all - all that pathetic crap that happened in the anime after episode 52 didn't happen. YES! And another best of all - the crap that happened in the second OVA didn't happen either. Which means that: Kenshin manga = friggin' incredible read! If I could write like that! Kenshin bowing down in front of Enishi and saying he could kill him if he wanted to ... my ass!

Also I think I have to point out that the sound track for the Kenshin anime is terrible. I thought anime sound tracks were supposed to be one of the most important parts.

Anyway, I had been thinking about writing an AU Kenshin fic about him being a photographer in a war zone. I still think something like that could be fun, but I have some unkept promises to keep before I can do whatever I want. Also, I have to spend some more time in the Kenshin corner on ff.net to perfect my marketing strategy (I know that probably sounds like cheating, but I would always prefer to write something not 100% obvious). But, even just reading Kenshin totally got me jazzed to write the fight scenes in 'Mark of a Goddess'.

Oh! I am SOOO in the mood to write something that just ... KICKS!

Gaming it up!

Normally, I don't play video games, but there are some nights when I MUST. So, I thought I'd write a quick list of my personal favourites. Some of these are older, so please bear with me.

I like turn-based rpgs for the most part, so that's what these are. Also, I don't have a lot of time on my hands, so this isn't going to be a long list.

1. Magna Carta - The Tears of Blood: This is the last one I got to play, so I've got a pic of Calintz for the pic. I really enjoyed it, and not all of the voice actors sucked, which makes this game a real find.
2. Final Fantasy IX: This one was my favourite Final Fantasy. Why? Cause I love almost all of the characters.
   
3. Xenosaga: I liked the first Xenosaga better than the second one. I think that's cause it seemed a little darker to me. The second one seemed sorta sissy in comparison, but maybe that's just because of Momo's mummy ... maybe.
4. Final Fantasy VII: How could I not pay homage to this gem? I could get linched for saying this, but the thing that I don't like about this game is the love triangle and how everyone took Aries dying so hard. I totally didn't care - I like Tifa better anyway.
5. Legend of Mana: This is an ancient PSOne game, but I love it. You get pets, write in your journal, chase penguins around, charm wisps, and it never has to be the same game twice. It's a silly little game, but I love it. It's so cute - it totally warms my heart.

Okay, so that's my top five. I have played more than this, but I usually pawn them A.S.A.P. if I'm not 100% in love, because I want to get the new game and if I pawn an old one I don't feel so bad forking out $60 for one. I don't have a copy of the last one though, so if you do and you want to sell it - please contact me. I'm an interested buyer!! Cheers!

Cinderella

So, yesterday I was watching Pretty in Pink. I have sort of begun to hate movies lately, but I was doing something boring and needed some background noise, and I've run all my current CDs into the ground. So, while I was watching it I came to realize something. I hate the Cinderella theme. I hate it. On second thought, I probably don't hate it all the way through. I still like movies like Maid to Order and Overboard. Those two are movies about personal reformation, but the whole rich hot guy falling for poor unfortunate girl thing makes me want to puke and die. It's even worse when she's got a chip on her shoulder about politics and makes him want to get involved. I'll probably go into that more in just a second, but first, I'm going to make a list of all the movies along these lines that tick me off and why.

Ever After

Ever After is at the top of my list. When I was in college one of my roomates bought a copy of it. They were so excited because it just came out on video. She showed it to me and I looked at her, and then I explained all the reasons why I thought it was a piece of crap. She has told me afterwards that I totally changed her mind about it - which makes me extremely happy. Nothing pleases an angst-ridden person more than spreading their views around. Ever After sucks because of the English accents when everyone is supposed to be French, because she reads one book and changes a nation (Ew!), because she 'supposively' knew how to fight with swords, because it was like the lamest example of female liberation paired with ... grr! Even though she got away from that skanky guy on her own, she still needed the prince for his $$$. So, it wasn't really female liberation after all - she still needed a man. Absolutely agrivating!

Ella Enchanted

Ella Enchanted was obviously geared towards a younger audience as it was a lot sillier, so I liked it better than Ever After. I think I would have enjoyed this film when I was around six or seven, so I can't defend it or criticise it on a serious level. It was a joke.

She's All That

I still shutter when I think about this movie. I think the reason I don't like it is that the premise is rotten. Yep, if I were the guy who got to choose the girl - I'd want to make sure that I'd win, so I wouldn't pick someone who was thin, had clear skin, or reputedly straight. I might even pick a girl who already had a boyfriend. Seriously, I'd pick someone that it would never work out with in a million years. So, since I find the premise unbelievable, the rest just isn't worth the trouble for me.

Maid in Manhattan

One time, I was looking through a Glamour magazine, and they were doing this piece on Jennifer Lopez and her looking hot and her looking terrible. The thing was that two of the four comparisions were clips from Maid in Manhattan. I was sitting there going, "This is hardly fair as a comparison. They are trying to make her look doudy." The other thing that ripped me off was that the fashions were supposed to be applicable to everyday life, you know, useful information for their readers who have ordinary budgets and they were using a coat worth thousands as an example. Yet another reason why I hate fashion magazines.

Anyway, long story short - unbelievable premise and I wanted to ask Ralph Fiennes why he couldn't get a better job.

Pretty Woman

I know this movie is classic and everything, and I have seen in more times than I'd like to admit, but where I live prostitutes are crack addicts. That is why they are prostitutes. Otherwise, they'd go get an ordinary job and they would be able to make their rent. So, when he catches her in the bathroom and she's not doing drugs, it's like ... it's nice that they threw that perspective in there, but ... I don't think so. I'm probably being extremely innocent over the reasons why a person becomes a prostitute, but I just feel like her personality would not have remained so pure if she really had been screwing around with all those guys. Like in Mr. and Mrs. Smith - I have done some reading about killers and they don't stay pure - they go evil, insane, and uncontrollably bloodthirsty. They might not be capable of an ordinary relationship. Yeah, I know, I take everything way too seriously. But what about STDs? I just read an article about how my city is crawling with syphilis. Sorry, yeah - I take everything way too seriously. I'll work on lightening up after I finish this.

Pretty in Pink

The movie that started it all. From my experience, rich guys don't look at girls who aren't rich too. Also whenever I watch this film I feel like it's been heavily edited, and that huge parts of the plot are missing.

I guess my big point here is that this theme is too unrealistic for me. I mean, if we're going for unrealistic, why go for something so boring? Why not have a hot shinigami start living in our bedroom instead? I mean, that happened in at least two animes that I know of. I guess my big problem with it is that in some of these stories, they throw so much truth into it that it seems like the story might be plausable, when realistically ... it's not likely at all. My girlhood dreams weren't really based on movies - but the idea that a little sweet girl could be fooled by something like this breaks my bitter cold angst-ridden heart.

For the Love of Shoujo

Okay, so lately, I've been reading some ... shoujo (girl manga). I guess it's the new pink ... or something like that. Anyway, I've been reading stuff like Shishi Doumei, Sleeping Beauty (not what you'd think), Kakan no Madonna, and Milk Crown. The pic I've got today is Jin from Milk Crown. I picked that one because it's my favourite of the ones I listed.

I have to do a comparision between shoujo and the old gothic romances I used to read when I was a teenager. Here's the comparison:

Reading a gothic romance is like attending a party where they're serving hor'dourves of romance, but you'll never get a meal, because by the end of the book the author is pulling a Jane Eyre and the main male lead is going to be brutally mutilated by the end of the story. I know what you're thinking - so why did I read this stuff? Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I'm from a really small town. There wasn't a lot in the library. It was either this or smut.

Reading shoujo is like sticking out your arm and preparing to get an injection of romance, cause whoever is writing it is dedicated to making the story 100% satisfying.

I want to write like this, but in a lot of ways I have really forgotten what those sweet little early moments of romance were like. I forget how I was feeling for the most part. I guess I remember my heart beating like crazy, but beyond that I don't remember any little details of things that used to make me extremely happy. Shoujo is all about fluff and I don't remember the fluff that was in my life well. If I remember something, it's usually the grand romantic guestures. Well, at least I remember something.

It's Raining Men!

I don't know why it didn't occur to me to write a post about male harem anime before. I don't know what I was thinking.

Okay, so male harem anime. Off the top of my head the top three that are coming to mind are Fruits Basket, Pretear and Haruka 8, Harukanaru (those last three words are all one title, sorry I don't know the translated title). Before I do anything, I'm going to talk about the definition of a 'harem' anime from my understanding, just to make everything clear.

A harem anime is when there are three or more people romantically inclined towards the protaganist. If there are two, then it's a love triangle, and if there is only one, then it's just a love story.

And today, I'm here to specifically write about male harem anime. I know there's a lot more female harem animes out there, where they pair a single guy up with like four or five chicks and they all like him - like in Ai Yori Aoishi, but I have no opinion on that sort of anime, so I acknowledge that it exists. Yeah, I don't really care.

When I was a little girl, I used to play Barbies with other little girls, and out of all my friends that I used to play with I was the only one with dark (nearly black) hair. So, we'd sit down to play and I didn't usually play with a blonde Barbie - I had a the brown haired one named Theresa (I think ... memory failing). Now, naturally, I wanted my doll to have a boyfriend and there was only Ken. But Ken is Barbie's boyfriend, so whenever we played, I'd always be stuck being 'the other woman' or the single friend. LAME! So, I'd give up on Barbies and we'd go play a make believe game where we reinacted The Last Unicorn, where I always got stuck being the harpy (no joke) or Molly. Of course, I always felt jipped because I wanted to be Amalthea. Right ripped. So, then we'd go play Little Lady Lovely Locks, Rainbow Bright, or Gem (in case you didn't know it, every single one of these is an example of blonde supremecy where the girls with other colours of hair are only side characters - Sailor Moon hadn't shown up yet to piss me off). So, I got a little bit of a chip on my shoulder about having dark hair, or more specifically about blonde girls always getting the men.

That's just one angle of my rage. The other angle of my rage is that there is no one else to choose besides the Ken doll. Who the hell wants Ken? The only answer I can think up is a girl who has no other options. As I recall, I didn't think Ken was interesting at all, and don't remember getting worked up over made up characters until they were more interesting then him. So, not only are there no guys, but the one guy who was around during these games was a loser. Tough luck!

So when I discovered ... a-hem, I mean - when I DISCOVERED male harem anime I was really pleased. Okay, so now our herione not only gets to have a boyfriend, but she can have several guys who love her intensely and look out for her like brothers (Fruits Basket), she can pick the one she wants (Pretear), or she can throw them all away and go for the bad guy (Haruka 8, Harukanaru). I actually don't know about that last one, I didn't get to see it to the end, but it seemed like things were going that way where I left off.

I don't feel like I'm being sick or anything, but in these animes, I feel like they give little girls (I'm sorry I haven't seen the ones geared towards really little girls - even though I know they exist) a chance to figure out what kind of guy they like since usually all the male characters are very different from each other.

And then ya know that I love anime because of the variety of hair colours all the characters have. The main girl is rarely blonde. Yeah, you'd think I wouldn't still be angst-ridden about that into my twenties, but when I was a small child I used to look at blondes and wonder if they thought the same as brunettes. Sometimes I even still remember the childish musing, long after I discovered the answer to it.

Wanna hear the answer?

Absolutely no one thinks like me.

P.S. Just as a side note, I'd like to say that I don't have it out for blondes. I just didn't like my culture deemed blonde as beautiful.