Five Reasons to Dump a Guy
It has always been my philosophy that if you can find just one thing that you don't like about the guy you are dating, that you should dump him immediately. I know - this sounds unbelievably inflexible, but when I say 'one thing that you don't like' - I mean something that you will NEVER like. I believe in accepting people and loving them even if they have faults and flaws, but they should be faults and flaws you are willing to put up with without scrunching up your nose or clenching your fists. Your next thought is that I probably don't have a boyfriend since finding a guy who could reasonably fulfill all your wishes is basically impossible. I know that men are a rather hopeless gender, but this is not so. It IS possible to find a man who suits you.
Actually, I'm married and have been for quite awhile. But lately I happened to be thinking about things that I used to chuck guys out on their ears for. Granted, everyone's list will be different. This is mine, in no specific order.
Number One
The first thing is that a guy would have to be the same religion as me and faithful in it. This is mostly because I really wanted to have a religious, faithful life, but I also knew that I wasn't going to have the stamina to make sure that the man I married was always doing the right thing. I think it's wrong to push someone around and to make them do what's right. I had to marry someone who had a similar (if not almost exact) standards, so that we could always count on each other to be good.
Number Two
I couldn't marry a man who had a sheep mentality. Did you ever meet a guy who always had to consult his friends about everything he did? He couldn't do anything without his friends' approval? Yeah. I can't stand this. I honestly can't even stand a guy who has to have MY approval before he can act (unless it's courtesy). What I mean, is a guy who needs to talk to me about fashion, music, movies, or behaviour in order for him to be able to outline his own personality. It's like - DUDE - get some convictions!
Number Three
Materialism. Back in the day when I was dating, it was never important to me how rich my boyfriends' parents were. In my opinion, it makes no difference whatever how much money or privilege a guy's parents had. As far as I was concerned - it had absolutely nothing to do with him. It also didn't matter to me what his current job was or what his prospects for employment were. The most important thing was his tastes and appetites and how extreme they were. A guy who wants everything and can't tell himself 'no' will always be in debt no matter how much money he's able to make. This manifests itself most in his conversation. For instance, he'll start talking about his watch and how much it cost and how excited he is about the watch that's the next level up in price and value. Sometimes it's cars, or electronic equipment instead of a watch. And I've never listened to such boring conversation.
Number Four
This is going to sound pretty snotty, but I could never stand a guy who I thought was dumber than me. I'm not saying that I'm brilliant and deserve a rocket scientist or someone like that. But I did need someone who I could have a stimulating conversation with, someone who could think of solutions that maybe I couldn't, and lastly - someone who wouldn't make irrational choices that I would have to live with.
Number Five
I needed someone who was in love with me. This might sound strange, but there are a thousand ways that a person can be in love and show love. When I say that I wanted someone who was in love with me - I mean that I wanted someone who had a style of loving that I enjoyed. I wanted someone who would let me know what they were doing - not because I wanted to keep tabs on them 24/7 - but because I wanted to be a part of their everyday life even if we were apart. I could do more of these examples, but it would be unnecessary. Basically, I wanted to be the highest priority in my boy's life, and if there was anything that was more important (friends, school, work, sports) then he could go do whatever was more important and I'd go home. It's hard to describe exactly what I wanted. I wanted him to have his own life, but I had to know that no matter what he was doing - his thoughts of me were more precious. I hate guys who can't express themselves or equal me in their devotion.
Anyway - I'm still sick. Actually, on top of everything else, I have a cold right now. Ew!
Actually, I'm married and have been for quite awhile. But lately I happened to be thinking about things that I used to chuck guys out on their ears for. Granted, everyone's list will be different. This is mine, in no specific order.
Number One
The first thing is that a guy would have to be the same religion as me and faithful in it. This is mostly because I really wanted to have a religious, faithful life, but I also knew that I wasn't going to have the stamina to make sure that the man I married was always doing the right thing. I think it's wrong to push someone around and to make them do what's right. I had to marry someone who had a similar (if not almost exact) standards, so that we could always count on each other to be good.
Number Two
I couldn't marry a man who had a sheep mentality. Did you ever meet a guy who always had to consult his friends about everything he did? He couldn't do anything without his friends' approval? Yeah. I can't stand this. I honestly can't even stand a guy who has to have MY approval before he can act (unless it's courtesy). What I mean, is a guy who needs to talk to me about fashion, music, movies, or behaviour in order for him to be able to outline his own personality. It's like - DUDE - get some convictions!
Number Three
Materialism. Back in the day when I was dating, it was never important to me how rich my boyfriends' parents were. In my opinion, it makes no difference whatever how much money or privilege a guy's parents had. As far as I was concerned - it had absolutely nothing to do with him. It also didn't matter to me what his current job was or what his prospects for employment were. The most important thing was his tastes and appetites and how extreme they were. A guy who wants everything and can't tell himself 'no' will always be in debt no matter how much money he's able to make. This manifests itself most in his conversation. For instance, he'll start talking about his watch and how much it cost and how excited he is about the watch that's the next level up in price and value. Sometimes it's cars, or electronic equipment instead of a watch. And I've never listened to such boring conversation.
Number Four
This is going to sound pretty snotty, but I could never stand a guy who I thought was dumber than me. I'm not saying that I'm brilliant and deserve a rocket scientist or someone like that. But I did need someone who I could have a stimulating conversation with, someone who could think of solutions that maybe I couldn't, and lastly - someone who wouldn't make irrational choices that I would have to live with.
Number Five
I needed someone who was in love with me. This might sound strange, but there are a thousand ways that a person can be in love and show love. When I say that I wanted someone who was in love with me - I mean that I wanted someone who had a style of loving that I enjoyed. I wanted someone who would let me know what they were doing - not because I wanted to keep tabs on them 24/7 - but because I wanted to be a part of their everyday life even if we were apart. I could do more of these examples, but it would be unnecessary. Basically, I wanted to be the highest priority in my boy's life, and if there was anything that was more important (friends, school, work, sports) then he could go do whatever was more important and I'd go home. It's hard to describe exactly what I wanted. I wanted him to have his own life, but I had to know that no matter what he was doing - his thoughts of me were more precious. I hate guys who can't express themselves or equal me in their devotion.
Anyway - I'm still sick. Actually, on top of everything else, I have a cold right now. Ew!
posted by Sapphirefly at
11:37 a.m.
3 Comments:
I laughed so hard when I read this. It's because my mom right now is trying to hook me up with a guy who gives me every reason not to like him. Oh... and according to your rules, he fails in 4 of them (except the first one).
I really agree on these ones with you. Even the religious one (I'm not religous because I wasn't raised like that, but I'd like to raise my kids in a religious way).
But I'll add one more reason to your list: I would immediately dump a guy who didn't follow the basic rules of "personal hygiene". I mean... I've met many guys who looked like they didn't wash their teeth and had very greasy hair. Yuck!
By
algelic, at 2:43 p.m.
Ah, yes. I thought about adding this one to my list, but the fact is - I have had the nerve to TELL certain guys that they smell terrible, needed to wash their hair, advised them on products to use, perhaps on the hairstyle that would best suit their facial shape, what type of facial hair would look good on them, to brush their teeth every time before they leave the house, etc. And you know what? I have given serious advice to maybe a dozen guys and I only know of one who didn't reform himself. I found that most of them had never been told in a really clear cut way what was socially acceptable and what wasn't. I have met guys years later who are still sporting the haircut I told them was their style. And they're clean and tidy now and some of them look hot as hell (naturally because they listened to all my preferences).
My sister cannot believe how many guys I have brought up to code by just telling them how it is. Most of them won't listen to their mothers, but they'd listen to me. I have my ways. ^_^!
By
Sapphirefly, at 11:40 a.m.
I Concur!! Bravo to you being so forthcoming about hygiene. I once had a "boyfriend" in High School who smoked. He would always try to cover it up with cinnamon gum, of all things. YUCK. That situation didn't even last a week, and I haven't even spoke of his personality!! It wouldn't have mattered if I had mentioned his hygiene, nothing could salvage that boy. I try not to think about those couple of days...*ever*, but your post screamed of him. lol
Brag all you want baby, you're doing the world a favor!!
Fourlittlepeas
By
Anonymous, at 10:37 p.m.
Post a Comment
<< Home