Cinderella

So, yesterday I was watching Pretty in Pink. I have sort of begun to hate movies lately, but I was doing something boring and needed some background noise, and I've run all my current CDs into the ground. So, while I was watching it I came to realize something. I hate the Cinderella theme. I hate it. On second thought, I probably don't hate it all the way through. I still like movies like Maid to Order and Overboard. Those two are movies about personal reformation, but the whole rich hot guy falling for poor unfortunate girl thing makes me want to puke and die. It's even worse when she's got a chip on her shoulder about politics and makes him want to get involved. I'll probably go into that more in just a second, but first, I'm going to make a list of all the movies along these lines that tick me off and why.

Ever After

Ever After is at the top of my list. When I was in college one of my roomates bought a copy of it. They were so excited because it just came out on video. She showed it to me and I looked at her, and then I explained all the reasons why I thought it was a piece of crap. She has told me afterwards that I totally changed her mind about it - which makes me extremely happy. Nothing pleases an angst-ridden person more than spreading their views around. Ever After sucks because of the English accents when everyone is supposed to be French, because she reads one book and changes a nation (Ew!), because she 'supposively' knew how to fight with swords, because it was like the lamest example of female liberation paired with ... grr! Even though she got away from that skanky guy on her own, she still needed the prince for his $$$. So, it wasn't really female liberation after all - she still needed a man. Absolutely agrivating!

Ella Enchanted

Ella Enchanted was obviously geared towards a younger audience as it was a lot sillier, so I liked it better than Ever After. I think I would have enjoyed this film when I was around six or seven, so I can't defend it or criticise it on a serious level. It was a joke.

She's All That

I still shutter when I think about this movie. I think the reason I don't like it is that the premise is rotten. Yep, if I were the guy who got to choose the girl - I'd want to make sure that I'd win, so I wouldn't pick someone who was thin, had clear skin, or reputedly straight. I might even pick a girl who already had a boyfriend. Seriously, I'd pick someone that it would never work out with in a million years. So, since I find the premise unbelievable, the rest just isn't worth the trouble for me.

Maid in Manhattan

One time, I was looking through a Glamour magazine, and they were doing this piece on Jennifer Lopez and her looking hot and her looking terrible. The thing was that two of the four comparisions were clips from Maid in Manhattan. I was sitting there going, "This is hardly fair as a comparison. They are trying to make her look doudy." The other thing that ripped me off was that the fashions were supposed to be applicable to everyday life, you know, useful information for their readers who have ordinary budgets and they were using a coat worth thousands as an example. Yet another reason why I hate fashion magazines.

Anyway, long story short - unbelievable premise and I wanted to ask Ralph Fiennes why he couldn't get a better job.

Pretty Woman

I know this movie is classic and everything, and I have seen in more times than I'd like to admit, but where I live prostitutes are crack addicts. That is why they are prostitutes. Otherwise, they'd go get an ordinary job and they would be able to make their rent. So, when he catches her in the bathroom and she's not doing drugs, it's like ... it's nice that they threw that perspective in there, but ... I don't think so. I'm probably being extremely innocent over the reasons why a person becomes a prostitute, but I just feel like her personality would not have remained so pure if she really had been screwing around with all those guys. Like in Mr. and Mrs. Smith - I have done some reading about killers and they don't stay pure - they go evil, insane, and uncontrollably bloodthirsty. They might not be capable of an ordinary relationship. Yeah, I know, I take everything way too seriously. But what about STDs? I just read an article about how my city is crawling with syphilis. Sorry, yeah - I take everything way too seriously. I'll work on lightening up after I finish this.

Pretty in Pink

The movie that started it all. From my experience, rich guys don't look at girls who aren't rich too. Also whenever I watch this film I feel like it's been heavily edited, and that huge parts of the plot are missing.

I guess my big point here is that this theme is too unrealistic for me. I mean, if we're going for unrealistic, why go for something so boring? Why not have a hot shinigami start living in our bedroom instead? I mean, that happened in at least two animes that I know of. I guess my big problem with it is that in some of these stories, they throw so much truth into it that it seems like the story might be plausable, when realistically ... it's not likely at all. My girlhood dreams weren't really based on movies - but the idea that a little sweet girl could be fooled by something like this breaks my bitter cold angst-ridden heart.