The Heart of the Matter

Well, I said I'd do a post about the holidays, but the truth is I arranged for so many activities for myself that I hardly had time to breathe. Now I'm on holiday detox. Fun eh? But enough about me. Today I thought I'd talk about gift-giving and true love.

I don't know when it was I inevitably lost my fascination with Christmas. I assume everyone goes through a phase in their teenagerhood where they realise that their Christmas wish list is unrealistic and they probably won't get any of the things they really want. I think I lost my love for the holidays when I spent the entire Christmas holiday and basically the entire month of December hanging over a toilet with morning sickness (that will take the love out of anything). But, I've never been very hardcore about Christmas anyway. I'd like to celebrate the season in a way that doesn't result in an orgy of greed, but is that really possible?

There was that one book forever ago (sorry for no title or reference, I'm really just too lazy to look it up) that describes in detail five different ways to show love for someone.

1. Service
2. Praise
3. Touch
4. Quality Time
5. Gifts

So, let's go over all of these in relation to the holidays.

Service - This is a great one, but I'll be honest and confess that most of the time I have no idea what most people need done for them, or even what they want done for them. I ask if there's anything I can do for a person and everyone says they're fine and don't need any help. I believe that this one, more than any of the others, shows exactly how well you know a person (not how much you love a person). If you know what you can do to help them, to serve them, you're in.

Praise - Is it just me, but any time someone starts complimenting me I immediately wonder what they want from me. I figure they must have some reason for buttering me up and it causes me to distrust them. I really don't like being manipulated, and besides, I'm so totally conceited that I don't really need the help. So, for myself if I want to say something nice to someone it has to be because I really mean it. I can't just pump someone up with verbal validation, I'll choke on my own tongue.

Touch - I don't touch people. I practically need warning if someone is going to hug me. I'd like to one of those people who touch hands, heads, and pat people on the back, but I'm just NOT. I have my bubble - please exit at the right. So, I can't show my love for people this way. I just can't.

Quality Time - This is my personal favourite. No one can win my heart without spending mounds of time with me. However, as I described in the first paragraph I was stretched pretty thin for my holiday and absolutely no one got very much of my time.

Gifts - A gift to me is something that is done when none of the other things can be. A cop-out when you're completely out of options (like when you miss an important event in someone's life so you bring them flowers to compensate). Also there's the problem of whether or not the person you give the gift to will like it. Issues! I hate gift-giving because no one ever gets me anything I want unless I tell them outright. But no one ever gets me what I ask for, because they want to surprise me. It's like sending your dog to do your shopping for you. AND I'm totally opposed to materialism.

So, I push myself to figure out how I can celebrate the holidays without giving gifts. Apparently, I'm too unobservant, tight lipped, fridged, and rushed to do anything else.